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SubscriptionsSites I Read
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| He seemed to unattached. Unaffected. His lips were on mine...but he was far away. I made a collage on the wall with magazine photos of all the girls I'd like to be. Beautiful. Elegant. Fair. Perfect. There are drawers built into the side of my bed. No room for a bureau in this tiny closet of a room. I keep a pair of good scissors in the top drawer. They were given to me by my high school art teacher. They're sharp. They're perfect. I cut at the tops of my legs. My arms. The blades still have dried blood on them. It's beautiful. I throw them back in the drawer. The TV is on. I have no idea what's playing. I'm not paying attention. It doesn't matter. It's background noise. I skip class. I skip work. I get up late. I lay in bed for long periods of time. Until 2 pm. Until 4 pm. Until it gets dark. I stop going to class. I stop going to work. I lay in bed. I slice at my legs and arms. I don't have any real friends here. I wander the city alone. Bookstore after bookstore. Museums. I travel nowhere on the subway. I don't even have interests anymore. What am I doing? I call my Dad one night, as I'm waiting for my food to be ready to Blockhead's. It's so fucking cold outside. The city creates wind tunnels. It's beginning to snow. I'm not wearing a coat. I tell him about my habits. It's hard to explain. It's hard to get the severity of a problem across over the phone. He can't see the marks. I grudgingly tell him everything. He's calm. He has experience in dealing with fucked up things such as this. I don't remember how the conversation ends. I don't know if we decide on me coming back home then and there. I leave it all behind. | | |
| It's only quarter to ten and I'm tired as hell. I hate not knowing what comes next and it seems like all I do is Worry and wait for the next bomb to drop. You're hundreds of miles away but you won't leave my fucking head. You aren't where you need to be and you're very well aware of it. A situation doesn't have to be a terrible disaster for it to just be wrong for someone. It's not what you need. Soon, and I get on my knees and pray and beg to the sky everyday, your eyes will open And you will realize that the ghosts haunting you aren't enough at all. | | |
| "I find it kind of funny that you think you're the only one who thinks about that kind of thing. I've been in love with you since the first time I met you, I knew something was there that couldn't be explained and definitely couldn't be pushed aside. I'm in love with you more than you can possibly imagine, and I would do anything to be with you if I knew that it would be true. It's true I have found someone, and so have you, but that will never change the way that we look at each other, or the way that we feel about each other. I'm only hoping that time will find it's way to grace us with a way.
Love you more with each beat of my heart"
I keep every word you've ever written.
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| Somehow, when I was screaming For a means to meet some being Who would capture all I am, I was offered a familiar- Something I had previously seen. I, not able to recognize the implications, Vanished for a time, Swam in bouts of fury Refused to come up for air That day, we chose to meet And we crashed together In a sort of stellar explosion I miss that. | | |
| Splayed naked on the sheets, Yet feeling suspended in stale air, Her body seems to drift with no direction. All vitality depletes, Motivation is but rare, Ugly gashes mar her fair complexion.
I'm restless. Plain and simple. But hardly plain. Ha! Never ever simple.
She always know what to say But can never say it. Do they see the words stumbling around on her tongue, slipping onto her lips?
I can't stay in this same place any longer. I have to move on.
I'm gone. nothing ever gets finished. I never want to dwell on the only things that motivate me. sigh. there has to be something good out there that will be just as inspirational. what is it? what? | | |
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